Ulomci iz života

Kada muškarac (dečko), godine nebitne, izjavi ženskoj osobi da "trenutno ne želi ulaziti u nikakvu vezu jer još voli bivšu", to onda znači:
a) sere, dotična ženska osoba mu nije dovoljno privlačna da bi s njom želio vezu
b) mulja, jer u stvari ima nekog sa strane ili u planu
c) govori istinu?
Ja se nekako dvoumim između a) i b). :)
Ako postoji još poneko moguće objašnjenje, slobodno ga priložite. :)

Za one koji još nisu obaviješteni... Mačiće nisam mogla udomiti pa sam ih odnijela majci da ona pokuša jer ona ipak ima dvorište i voćnjak gdje mačići imaju prostora za igru. Međutim, u kući s mojim roditeljima žive i baka i djed. Jedan petak navečer sam tako mačiće odnijela majci i bili su na sigurnom i toplom... U toku noći djed ih je skužio i od pet mačića preživjela su samo dva. Jedan je završio kod moje nećakinje koja se odlično brine o njemu, a drugi je našao topli dom zajedno sa štenetom labradora.

Negdje postoji konjiga o ljubavi, u kojoj su crenom tintom zapisani svi simptomi; omaglica i žudnja. Sklonost zurenju u noćno nebo, u potrazi za porukom koju bi se moglo gore naći. Nadimanje u dnu želuca kao da se pojelo nešto odveć slatko. Sposobnost da se čuje najtiše zvukove - puževi žvaču listove salate, noćni leptiri piju nektar iz prezrelih krušaka na voćki pokraj ograde, zec drhti u bršljanu - za svaki slučaj, ako je on negdje u blizini, a to je zapravo jedino važno. Prava glad samo da ga vidi, kao da bi to moglo biti dovoljno.
 
Kao protulijek, udahni i izdahni polako. Ne gledaj u nebo. Razmišljaj o svakodnevnim stvarima; prepečencu na tanjuru, prljavom rublju u košari, sagovima koji tjednima nisu bili oprani. Nemoj uopće misliti, a osjećati još i manje. Iznesi smeće kroz bočna vrata.
 
Alice Hoffman - Druga priroda

Law of Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of a cat food can.
--Law of Thermodynamics:
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which all heat flows to the cat.
--Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
--Law of Cat Magnetism:
All black sweaters and blue blazers attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
--Law of Rug Configuration:
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
--First Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats know that energy is neither created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little of it as possible.
--Second Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
--Law of Random Comfort Seeking:
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
--Law of Bag and Box Occupancy:
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
--The Law of Furniture Replacement:
A cats desire to scratch the furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
--Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.
 
Cat Commandments
Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou are transparent.
Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy humans face.
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shalt not reset thy humans alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping humans bladder at 4 a.m.
Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at thy first opportunity.
Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

On Marriage
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Još uvijek pokušavam udomiti mačiće.. Stvarno su preslatki, jedu sve i naučeni su na pijesak... Stari su 5 tjedana.. Ljudi, pomagajte.. Ako netko želi macu ili zna nekog tko je želi.. Javite se...

Moja mačka je imala avanturu prije cca 3 mjeseca. Rezultat je 5 preslatkih mačića koje na žalost ne mogu zadržati. Sve dobre duše koje bi željele mačića neka mi se jave...

Liječnici traže pacijenta kako bi mu odrezali penis!!!



Liječnici iz Rumunjske su zatražili pomoć lokalne policije kako bi im pomogla pri pronalasku čovjeka koji je pobjegao iz bolnice nakon što su mu liječnici rekli da mu moraju odrezati penis



BUKUREŠT - Osoblje te bolnice bilo je šokirano kad su saznali kako je čovjek pobjegao iz bolnice nakon što su mu liječnici rekli da ima gangrenu. Čovjek je navodno izgubio okladu u jednoj lokalnoj pivnici te je za kaznu na svoj penis morao staviti srebrni prsten.

Liječnici su mu u bolnici rekli kako je u smrtnoj opasnosti te mu preostaje jedino da odstrani penis, no nakon što su mu to priopćili pacijent je pobjegao iz bolnice.

'Stavio je prsten na svoj penis i kasnije ga nije mogao skinuti. Iako je trpio velike bolove, u bolnicu je došao nakon dva dana jer ga je bilo sram vlastitog postupka', rekao je liječnik Stelian Belu.

'U vrijeme kad je došao u bolnicu krv mu je već bila zagađena, a odstranjenje penisa je neophodno kako se zaražena krv ne bi proširila po cijelom tijelu', dodao je Belu.

Fake an Emergency
1. Excuse yourself from the table. Tell your date that you are going to the restroom to “wash up.” Take your cell phone with you. If you do not have one, locate a restaurant phone that’s out of your date’s line of vision. Bring a restaurant matchbook or a business card that has the restaurant’s phone number.
2. Call a friend or relative for help. Tell them to call you (either on your cell phone or on the restaurant’s phone) and pretend there has been an “emergency.” Believable emergencies are:
* Personal Crisis: “My friend just broke up with her husband—she’s having a breakdown. I have to go.”
* Business Crisis: “My boss just called—she’s in Seattle for a major presentation, and has lost all her files. I have to e-mail them to her immediately.”
* Health Crisis: “My sister just called—our grandmother is alone and ill.”
3. Leave quickly before your date can protest. Apologize, but refuse any attempt your date makes to accompany you. If you leave swiftly and without hesitation, your date won’t have time to understand what’s happening or to object.
Slip Away Unnoticed
1. Identify your escape route. Observe your surroundings. Take note of the exits, especially the back doors. Look for the best way out and an alternative.
2. Plan to alter your appearance. Think about your most distinctive features and figure out how to hide or disguise them. The person you are trying to leave is going to see a figure moving past and away at a distance and will be focusing on the first impression. If you are not familiar to him and are uninteresting, you will not get a second look.
3. Excuse yourself from the table. Move to the restroom or any private area with a mirror to begin your transformation. Your date will probably wait two or three minutes before expecting you to return, so act quickly, before he begins looking for you.
4. Add or remove clothing. Layering garments will change your body shape and even suggest a different gender. A long coat will obscure your body type. Hats are especially useful because they conceal your hair and facial features. Eyeglasses, whether added or removed, work wonders. A shopping bag is a handy prop and can be used to hold your belongings.
5. Change your walk and posture. If you usually walk quickly, move slowly. If you stand up straight, hunch over. To alter your gait, slip a pebble in one shoe or bind one of your knees with a piece of string or cloth.
6. Use or remove cosmetics. Lipstick can change the shape of your mouth, heighten the color in your cheeks and nose, and even give you tired eyes if dabbed and blended on your eyelids. An eyebrow pencil can be used to add age lines, change the shape of your eyes and brows, or create facial hair.
7. Change your hairstyle or color. A rubber band, hairspray, water, or any gooey substance can be useful for changing a hairstyle, darkening your hair, or altering a hairline. Borrow flour from the kitchen to lighten or gray your hair color.
8. Adopt a cover role. A waiter in the restaurant may have an apron and be carrying a tray. If you can manage to procure these items, add or subtract a pair of eyeglasses, and alter your hairline or hairstyle, you can become invisible as you are moving out of the restaurant, into the kitchen, and out the rear door. Or you can take on the role of a maintenance worker; carry a convenient potted plant out the front door and no one will think twice.
9. Make your move. Do not look at your date.
Slip Out the Window
If you do not think you will be able to change your appearance enough to slip past your date, you may have to find another way to depart. Back doors are the simplest; they are often located near the restrooms or are marked as fire exits. Do not open an emergency exit door if it is alarmed unless absolutely necessary; an alarm will only draw attention. If there are no accessible alternate doors, you will need to find a window.
1. Locate a usable window. Avoid windows with chicken wire or large plate glass. Bathroom windows often work best. If you are not on the ground floor, be sure there is a fire escape.
2. Attempt to open the window. Do not immediately break the window, no matter how dire your need to get out.
3. Prepare to break the window if you cannot open it. Make sure no one is around. If you can, lock the bathroom door.
4. Find an implement to break the window. Try to avoid using your elbow, fist, or foot. Suitable implements are:
* Wastebasket
* Toilet plunger
* Handbag or briefcase
* Paper towel dispenser
5. Strike the center of the glass with the implement. If the hand holding the implement will come within a foot of the window as you break it, wrap it with a jacket or sweater before attempting to break the glass. If no implement is available, use your heavily wrapped hand; be sure you wrap your arm as well, beyond the elbow.
6. Punch out any remaining shards of glass. Cover your fist with a jacket or sweater before removing the glass.
7. Make your escape. Do not worry about any minor nicks and cuts. Run.
Get Your Date to Leave
1. Say something offensive. If you know your date is of a particular religion or ethnicity, make inappropriate comments.
2. Behave inappropriately. Do things that you think he will find unattractive or distasteful: chew with your mouth open, eat with your fingers, argue with the waiter, close your eyes and pretend to sleep, light matches and drop them on your plate, ignore everything he says, and/or call someone else on your cell phone.
3. Send your date on a “fool’s errand.”
* Tell him you want to go to a specific nightclub, but explain that it gets very crowded and that if you are not in line by a certain time (say, 15 minutes from then), you won’t get in. Tell your date that you have arranged to have your friend stop by the restaurant with guest passes, but that if your date does not go ahead to the nightclub to get in line, you’ll never make it inside. If your date wants your cell phone number, give the number willingly but make sure you change one digit. Promise you will see your date within half an hour. Never show.
* Fake an allergy attack, and insist that he leave in search of the appropriate over-the-counter allergy medicine. Explain that you must have been allergic to something in the drink/appetizer/food/taxicab, and that if you do not obtain your medicine you will break out in hives. When your date dutifully leaves, slip away.
Be Aware
* Blind dates are the riskiest forms of dating—it is best to check out a potential suitor extensively before the date.
* Have a friend agree to check out your potential suitor and call you before you enter the bar/restaurant. Send your friend in with a cell phone. Situate yourself at a bar nearby, and await her call. Have her contact you when she has identified the mark.
* If you discover unsavory facts about someone you’re supposed to meet, call immediately to cancel the date. Blame work and say that you have to stay late at the office, or say that you’re experiencing car trouble. A more permanent solution is to say that an old flame has reentered your life; this will prevent your blind date from calling you again and asking for a rain check.

Ne znam s čim da počnem, široka si tema,
možda bi nam trebala neka radna shema,
da ne izostavim neki bitni dio,
a da takvu grešku napravit nisam smio.
Prijateljica moja što pije puno kave,
malo jede, puno puši, oh kakve li strave.
Bojim se za tvoje mladenačko zdravlje,
ak preživiš do dvajstdruge, priredit ću slavlje.
Vještica je kažu, i vračara vidovita,
no ta tvrdnja nije baš svrhovita.
Ima malu macu, al zato jako dragu,
strah me da ne proda svoju crnu dušu vragu.
Volim je više od samo ga sebe (nemoj reć da lažem)
jer ovo iz srca i duše sad kažem.
Ne bih te mijenjao ni za koju drugu,
prije bih se dragovoljno bacio na prugu,
zbog svih trenutaka, što zajedno smo prošli,
u godini dana, od kad smo na faks došli.
Ne traži mnogo, uvijek puno daje,
iskrena je i na mjesec često laje.
To su osobine što najviše štujem,
zato po tebi nikada ne pljujem.
Ti si prava rijetkost jer kosa ti plava,
ali zato znanja prepuna je glava.
Ne želim te izgubit, nikad u životu,
jer bit će to na moju sramotu.
Ja kad sam s tobom zaboravim probleme,
zato što su otvorene sve moguće teme.
Ne mogu napisati sve što mogu reći,
kad mi tebe nema suza počne teći.
autor: Johnny, 2001.

***

Svaki put kada sam odlazila prema tramvajskoj stanici nakon naših “sastanaka” trudila sam se ne okrenuti se. Bojala sam se pokazati taj znak slabosti. Bojala sam se da bih mogla zaplakati ako stanem i okrenem se. Ne dopustam si suze ni kad sam sama, niti onda kad mi je najteže. I tako se nisam ni jednom okrenula. Jer bih stala i vratila se. A bojala sam se da ćeš ostati hladan.

***

Kad sam tebe upoznala prepustila sam se. A to me prestrašilo. Jer sam postala ranjiva.. Jer si me mogao povrijediti…Umjesto da to prihvatim kao životnu činjenicu i jedno iskustvo koje treba proći punim intenzitetom, reagirala sam na jedini način koji sam znala. Samoobranom. Povlačenjem. Vrijeđanjem. Povrijedi onog drugog prije nego što on tebe povrijedi.

***

Bilo me je strah da ja tu međusobnu privlačnost samo umišljam. A s druge strane nisam htjela vjerovati da nešto tako intenzivno i ugodno može biti jednostrano. Bojala sam se da ti služim kao razbibriga dok u vidu imas neku drugu ili razmisljaš o nekoj drugoj. Tako si mi djelovao onih par puta. Zamišljen i daleko. Kao da jedva čekaš da odem. Plašila me šutnja, pod svaku cijenu sam htjela izazvati nekakvu reakciju, dobiti neku povratnu informaciju, dobru ili lošu. Strahovi su me potpuno obuzeli. Umjesto da se borim protiv njih i ponašam i dalje normalno, prepustila sam se. Prepustila sam se tom novom osjećaju,a samim time i strahovima.