Am I a hazard to myself? :)

How Could You?
When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.
 My housetraining took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."
 As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them, especially their touch - because your touch was now so infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.
I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being your dog to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now you have a new career opportunity in another city and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.
 I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers."
You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.
 After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.
I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.
She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.
 May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

Šinteraj

Eto, kako se trenutno nalazim pred velikom dilemom, odlučila sam to podijeliti sa vama:) Naime, ovih dana si ja jako puno razmišljam o tome da li da se ošišam ili ne:) I...mislim da ću se ošišati, jer sam željna neke promjene...a s obzirom da sam i ja ipak žensko...prvo je na redu frizura:) Dakle, donijela sam odluku da se ošišam prvom prilikom kad ću imati dovoljno slobodnog vremena za izvođenje tog za mene nadasve kompliciranog postupka:)))))) Ali, svi moji obožavatelji nek ne očajavaju...i dalje ću ostati jednako lijepa:)))))))

Vidim ja da ste mi svi u zadnje vreme tu u banani...epidemija depre pokosila iskrirčane, ajde, dođite vi k svojoj Dr Scare na grupnu terapiju, pa da pokušamo riješiti te vaše dileme i probleme:) Ja ću vam reći što je mene bediralo ovih dana-moj se voljeni pas porezao! Po šapi! I bed i jad...kaj sad, sašili su mu to i sad bude sve u redu:) Više se ne bediram:)
Prvi korak za suočavanje s problemom je da priznate sebi što vas bedira...pa eto...čekam vas u ordinaciji:)

Koji su po vama najbolji filmovi koje bi svatko morao imati u svojoj filmoteci?:)))))) Ja si trenutno popunjavam (prilično praznu) filmoteku, pa me zanima kaj mi preporučujete, a i da vidim kaj sam zaboravila:) Zahvalna sam za sve sugestije:))))))

"Draga Scare,
Sreo sam prekrasnu ženu, visoka je, lijepa, inteligentna, šarmantna-skoro sve što bi čovjek poželio. Ali ima jedan problem. Svaki puta kad me želi poljubiti meni pozli! Najprije sam mislio da je to nešto prolazno...jela je nešto valjda. Ali sad uviđam da to traje stalno, i da vjerojatno ima neki problem. Što da radim? pa nemrem stalno držati nos zečepljen (a to sad radim) svaki puta kada se ona nagne prema meni da me poljubi. Čak ni ne gledam u njenom pravcu dok mi nešto priča. Što da radim?
Srdačan pozdrav, tvoj Donkey"
Recite vi meni, što vas smeta kod vaših partnera? Pokvareni zubi? Zadah? Jako je nizak? Debela je? Ima veliki nos? Ima probušeni pupak? Brada? Brkovi? Dlakavi madež? Loš ten? Kopa nos? Ne diže dasku? Puši?
Kako bi reagirali kad bi došli prvi put k svojoj novoj ljubavi i vidjeli: porno časopise gdje god se okrenete; ili punu kuhinju prljavog suđa; ili cijeli stan besprijekorno čist-nigdje zrnca prašine; ili ogromnog psa u kući; ili mačku kako spava na jastuku u krevetu? Što bi vas najviše odbilo?

ja sam se sad istuširala, i spremam se u krevet:))))))))

"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one."

...jer konačno pada snijeg, i to cijeli dan pada, nepem ni spavati popodne, nego idem šetati po lijepom, bijelom, prekrasnom snijegu:)))))))))))
P.S. la-la i ja vas izazivamo na grudanje!!!!!!!:)))))))

Kaj je po vašem mišljenju najveća i najgora prevara koja bi vas najviše boljela :
1. Partner flerta s nekim drugim dok ste zajedno u društvu
2. Partner mašta o zajedničkoj prijateljici/prijatelju i vi to znate
3. Partner se ljubi sa nekim poslije nekoliko pića na tulumu i vi to saznate
4. Partner ode u krevet sa nekim drugim poslije nekoliko pića na tulumu i vi to saznate
5. Partner često ide na kavu sa nekim drugim i razmjenjuje intimne misli i snove sa tom osobom i vi to znate
6. Partner chatta s nekim drugim po cijele noći i dane, a s vama skoro da ne priča

Dečki, da vas čujem sad...jedna stvar kaj sam čula je teorija da su svi modni dizajneri homosexualci/pedofili, i da u biti vole mršave ženske jer ih podsjećaju na mršava muška dječja tijela....i zato su manekenke tak mršave i kosturače. E sad, kaj je vama lepše...videti ženu ko Merlin Monro, ili ko Kejt Mos?

Mislim, već valjda svi znate da sam ja konačno uspjela dogovoriti kavu:)))))) Istina-bog, tek u listopadu, ali...kavica je dogovorena. E sad si ja mislim ovak...nije ni čudo kaj niko neće s menom na kavu kad to tak iskreno velim..."da sam ju konačno uspjela dogovoriti"...tak ispada da stvarno niko neće s menom na kavu pa si svi misle -Pa ako niko neće, neću ni ja!....a možda da nisam tak naivna, i da imam malo više one poznate ženske lukavosti, mogla sam reći ovak: "Na kavu s menom se čeka i desetak mjeseci, pretrpana sam ponudama i prebukirana .... jedino da koga probam otkantati pa da s tobom odem, ha?" :)))))))))))))))) 
I odma to drukčije zvuči...sve vam je stvar pristupa i  celofana:)))))) I najgori poklon bu lep ako ga lepo zapakirate!:))

E ovo vam moram ispričat! :)))
Dakle kak je danas bil onaj blog sa šumom i jezerom, sjetila sa ja kad smo Smartass i ja išle prošlo ljeto na kupanje.
Dakle, pozadina priče je da smo se i jedna i druga posvadile sa našim draganima tadašnjim i odlučile mi jedan dan lijepo provesti na kupanju. Ono, da se malo opustimo, bilo je vrijeme godišnjih odmora, skupa smo radile i skupa imale godišnji, i tak, idemo mi u život. Za našu destinaciju smo odabrale jezero Šoderica kraj Koprivnice. Jest da nisam nikad do tam vozila, ali otprilike su mi objasnili di to je, pa sam mislila kak nemrem fulati i da ne bude to prestrašno ispalo.
Utrpale se mi u auto, i naravno, sa sobom uzele mog nezaobilaznog Ljepotana, jer se i on voli kupati, a vruće je bilo (nemojte misliti da se on nema gde kupati, ima on svoj bazen doma, ali baš i nemre puno plivati unutra, ipak je lepše na jezeru), upalile klimu da se ne kuhamo, i krenule.
Smart je uzela sve one ženske rekvizite, ja sam uglavnom bila orijentirana na par velikih ručnika,  četke i lajne za Ljepotana, jer treba njega posušiti kad se namoči!
Dakle nakon nekog vremena vozikanja, našle mi tu Šodericu. I tako, sparkale se mi fino, raspakirale, i Ljepotan i ja otišli na kupanje, Smart je čitala na obali, ona je odustala od kupanja kad je vidla vodu. E da, normalno da je došel neki čovek vikat kak se ja to s pesom kupam, kak me nije sram i slično…A nikog živog nije bilo, već je bilo kasno popodne, 4-5 sati…a dobro, da se ne svadimo, otišle mi…ja mokra, badić mokar, haljina mokra…i nejde se meni takvoj mokroj doma...ja bi još negdje na kupanje…čula sam ja da tamo ima još jezera, ali nisu tak popularna…i odlučile mi njih naći.
Nakon vozikanja po najšoderastijim i najprašnijim puteljcima koje smo mogle naći, naišle mi na neku veliku vodu. Rekoh ja samouvjereno da to mora biti to drugo jezero, i izašle mi van, ja se odma skinula jer mi je bilo zima, ostavila haljinu na šoderu da se suši, i tak mi šetale uz obalu toga za što sam ja tvrdila da je jezero. Nikog živog nigde nije bilo. Smart je onako gledajući u tu vodu rekla da misli da je to rijeka, jer nekam teče, a i jako brzo je to teklo...ali kak je okolo nekakvo drveće, šuma i slično…nismo vidle kaj je…
E da skratim priču, naišle mi na neko jezero kraj te rijeke, malo jezero, uz jezero sve puno ribiča….ja u badiću, ona poluobučena, malo nam je bed bil…Ribičima još nije bil bed, njima je bilo zabavno…dve koke se šetkaju…ali katastrofa je tek bila na pomolu…
Dakle, moje Zlato, po vokaciji lovački pas, a po slobodnom umjetničkom opredjeljenju retriver (psi specijalizirani za donošenje ptica iz vode lovcima) je na sred tog jezera gde su oni pecali vidjelo –labuda! I naravno, zaletilo se za labudom…ja vičem za njim, ali nagon je to, instinkt, nemreš ti njemu sad reći da nejde…doplival on do sredine jezera, ali boji se labuda, ja se bojim i za pesa i za labuda, ne znam ko je kome opasniji (mislim da pas gubi bitku u svakom slučaju), ribiči poludeli jer ima je pas sve ribe rasteral, viču da nek idem po pesa, da se bu utopil da se on nemre vrnuti više natrag…ja ne znam kaj da delam -šokirana- kroz glavu mi prolaze sve scene iz filmova o Loch Ness, živi pijesak i slično...ne usudim se za njim, a opet kaj ću…bum globu platila i žao mi labuda ako mu kaj napravi, a pesa mi žal još više, ipak je on moj jedini pas…možda mu je lajna zapela za kaj pa nemre van….i ja krenula za njim…. Imate scenu u glavi? On za labudom, labud ne zna kaj bi, ribiči viču, ja za pesom….Živi spektakl! …U tili čas smo iz ribičke oaze mira napravili urnebes:)))) Ali pametno moje je doplivalo natrag kad je vidlo da idem za njim, i brzo smo se maknuli da još i batina ne dobijemo. Pitali smo usput neke ljude kak se zove to mjesto...Bila je rijeka Drava.:))))
 
P.S. Smartass, welcome back:))))))

Ljudi, ajmo glasanje! Ko misli da Dev slobodno ode na kavu s menom, nek napiše da, a ko misli da nek bolje nejde, nek napiše ne:) Nemam 500 kn, a kad malo bolje razmislim nemam ni 50Kn pa on bude i platil kavu, a za Martel nemamo ni on ni ja novce, ako ima ko Martel nek nam da:)))))) Glas većine presuđuje...ako velite da ide-mora ić....a ako velite da nejde...ne mora:)))))

Once again, Travis is sitting in one of the peepshow booths in front of the mirror that becomes a window as Jane comes through the door and switches on the light. This room is decorated like an American coffee shop. Today, Jane is wearing a short black dress. She seems to be in the same happy mood she was the day before.
JANE Howdy.   TRAVIS Howdy.  
Jane sits down on the bar stool next to the "counter".  
TRAVIS Can I tell you something?   JANE Sure. Anything you like.   TRAVIS It's kind of a long story.  JANE I got plenty of time. 
Jane may possibly have recognized the voice of yesterday's visitor, but she doesn't show it. Travis takes his chair and turns it around so that he is sitting with his back to the window. Jane, of course, is not aware of this. Now neither of them can see the other. 
TRAVIS I knew these people...  JANE What people?  TRAVIS These two people. They were in love with each other. The girl was... very young, about seventeen or eighteen, I guess. And the guy was... quite a bit older. He was kind of raggedy and wild. And she was very beautiful, you know? JANE Yeah.   TRAVIS And together, they turned everything into a kind of adventure, and she liked that. Just an ordinary trip down to the grocery store was full of adventure. They were always laughing at stupid things. He liked to make her laugh. And they didn't much care for anything else because all they wanted to do was to be with each other. They were always together.  JANE Sounds like they were very happy.   TRAVIS Yes, they were. They were real happy. And he... he loved her more than he ever felt possible. He couldn't stand being away from her during the day when he went to work... so he'd quit. Just to be at home with her. Then he'd get another job when the money ran out, and then he'd quit again. But pretty soon, she started to worry.   
JANE About what?   TRAVIS Money, I guess. Not having enough. Not knowing when the next check was coming in.  JANE  I know that feeling.    TRAVIS So he started to get kind of... torn inside.  JANE How do you mean?   TRAVIS Well, he knew he had to work to support her, but he couldn't stand being away from her, either.    JANE I see.     TRAVIS And the more he was away from her, the crazier he got. Except now, he went really crazy. He started imagining all kinds of things.  JANE Like what?   TRAVIS He started thinking that she was seeing other men on the sly. He'd come home from work and accuse her of spending the day with somebody else. Then he'd yell at her and start smashing things in the trailer.    
Jane is suddenly very startled. Perhaps, deep down, she knew all along that it was Travis who was talking to her. But now she is sure.  
JANE The trailer?   
There is a long pause in the conversation. Travis is also not sure whether he hasn't betrayed himself, and whether he can continue to tell the story in the same way. 
TRAVIS Yes, they were living in a trailer home.   
Jane allows him te preserve his anonymity.
    JANE Excuse me, sir, but were you in to visit me the other day? I don't mean to pry.   TRAVIS No.      JANE Oh, I thought I recognized your voice for a minute.      TRAVIS No, it wasn't me.   JANE Uhm. Please go on.       
She plays her part well. Travis smiles.    
     TRAVIS Anyway, he started to drink real bad. And he'd stay out late to test her.      JANE What do you mean, "test her" ?    TRAVIS To see if she'd get jealous.    
     Jane has to laugh at that.     
  JANE Huh! Uhuh.     TRAVIS He wanted her to get jealous, but she didn't. She was just worried about him, but that got him even madder.      JANE Why?     TRAVIS Because he thought that, if she'd never get jealous of him, she didn't really care about him. Jealousy was a sign of her love for him. And then, one night... one night, she told him she was pregnant. She was about three or four months pregnant, and he didn't even know. And then, suddenly, everything changed. He stopped drinking and got a steady job. He was convinced that she loved him now because she was carrying his child. And he was going to dedicate himself to making a home for her. But then a funny thing started to happen.      JANE What?       
TRAVIS He didn't even notice it at first. She started to change. From the day the baby was born, she began to get irritated with everything around her. She got mad at everything. Even the baby seemed to be an injustice to her. He kept trying to make everything all right for her. Buy her things. Take her out to dinner once a week. But nothing seemed to satisfy her. For two years he struggled to pull them back together like they were when they first met, but finally he knew that it was never going to work out. So he hit the bottle again. But this time it got... mean. This time, when he came home late at night, drunk, she wasn't worried about him, or jealous, she was just enraged. She accused him of holding her captive by making her have a baby. She told him that she dreamed about escaping. That was all she dreamed about: escape. She saw herself at night running naked down a highway, running across fields, running down riverbeds, always running. And always, just when she was about to get away, he'd be there. He would stop her somehow. He would just appear and stop her. And when she told him these dreams, he believed them. He knew she had to be stopped or she'd leave him forever. So he ned a cow bell to her ankle so he could hear her at night if she tried to get out of bed. But she learned how to muffle the bell by stuffing a sock into it, and inching her way out of the bed and into the night. He caught her one night when the sock fell out and he heard her trying to run to the highway. He caught her and dragged her back to the trailer, and tied her to the stove with his belt.   
    During the course of his story, Jane cries. The tears roll down her face.       
TRAVIS He just left her there and went back to bed and lay there listening to her scream. And he listened to his son scream, and he was surprised at himself because he didn't feel anything anymore. All he wanted to do was sleep. And for the first time, he wished he were far away. Lost in a deep, vast country where nobody knew him. Somewhere without language or streets. He dreamed about this place without knowing its name. And when he woke up, he was on fire. There were blue flames burning the sheets of his bed. He ran through the flames toward the only two people he loved.... but they were gone. His arms were burning, and he threw himself outside and rolled on the wet ground. Then he ran. He never looked back at the fire. He just ran. He ran until the sun came up and he couldn't run any further. And when the sun went down, he ran again. For five days he ran like this until every sign of man had disappeared.
Jane slowly sits up, wipes the tears from her face, then stands up and walks over to the mirror. She kneels down in front of it and places her hands on the glass.       
JANE Travis?        
Right until the end, Travis had been speaking with his back to the window. Now, as he hears his name, he turns around to Jane who is right in front of him with her face pressed against the glass. He shifts his chair so that they are face to face. His features are reflected in hers.        
TRAVIS If you turn off the light in there, will you be able to see me?      JANE I don't know. I never tried.     
  She gets up, walks to the door and switches off the light. Travis turns the table lamp so that it shines directly on his face. It works: the mirror reverses, and now Jane can see him, while Travis can only see himself. Jane kneels down in front of her window again.       
TRAVIS Can you see me?       JANE Yes.       TRAVIS Do you recognize me?     JANE Oh, Travis.       TRAVIS I brought Hunter with me... 
         Jane leans back, stunned. She is at a loss for words.   
    TRAVIS Don't you want to see him ?        JANE I wanted to see him so bad that I didn't even dare imagine him anymore. Anne kept sending me pictures of him until I asked her to stop. I couldn't stand the pain of seeing him grow up and missing it.     TRAVIS Why didn't you keep him with you, Jane?        JANE I couldn't, Travis. I didn't have what I knew he needed. And I didn't want to use him to fill up all my emptiness.     TRAVIS Well, he needs you now, Jane. And he wants to see you.     JANE He does?     TRAVIS Yes. He's waiting for you.  JANE Where?      TRAVIS Downtown. In a hotel, The Meridian. Room 1520... 1520.     
He starts to replace the receiver. Startled, Jane gets to her feet.       
JANE You're not going, are you? She pounds against the window with both fists.   
Travis raises the receiver again. A long pause follows.   
   TRAVIS I can't see you, Jane.    JANE Don't go yet. Don't go yet!     
  She picks up the little loudspeaker from which Travis' voice emerges, and sits down with her back to the window like Travis did before.  
JANE I... I used to make long speeches to you after you left. I used to talk to you all the time, even though I was alone. I walked around for months talking to you. Now I don't know what to say. It was easier when I just imagined you. I even imagined you talking back to me. We'd have long conversations, the two of us. lt was almost like you were there. I could hear you, I could see you, smell you. I could hear your voice. Sometimes your voice would wake me up. It would wake me up in the middle of the night, just like you were in the room with me. Then... it slowly faded. I couldn't picture you anymore. I tried to talk out loud to you like I used to, but there was nothing there. I couldn't hear you. Then... I just gave it up. Everything stopped. You just... disappeared. And now I'm working here. I hear your voice all the time. Every man has your voice.     TRAVIS l'll tell Hunter that you're coming.      JANE Travis?     TRAVIS What?     JANE l'll be there.    TRAVIS Good.      JANE Meridian Hotel?     TRAVIS Yeah. Room 1520.  
  He hangs up the receiver - this time for good - and leaves quickly. Jane remains seated for a long time with her head resting on the loudspeaker. Then she gets up, switches the light back on, and leaves the room. Only the mirror remains.