Ulomci iz života

Law of Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of a cat food can.
--Law of Thermodynamics:
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which all heat flows to the cat.
--Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
--Law of Cat Magnetism:
All black sweaters and blue blazers attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
--Law of Rug Configuration:
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
--First Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats know that energy is neither created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little of it as possible.
--Second Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
--Law of Random Comfort Seeking:
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
--Law of Bag and Box Occupancy:
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
--The Law of Furniture Replacement:
A cats desire to scratch the furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
--Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.
 
Cat Commandments
Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou are transparent.
Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy humans face.
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shalt not reset thy humans alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping humans bladder at 4 a.m.
Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at thy first opportunity.
Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.