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"The classic pattern you see is the demand-withdrawal dynamic," Diamond whispers, referring to a pattern in which the woman makes demands and the man, in response, shuts down. It turns out that each behavior has striking corollaries within the body. "The man usually finds it calming to withdraw from the conflict," Diamond says. His heart rate drops. His breathing slows. Yet, as he pulls away, "the woman watches in growing frustration. She's thinking, 'Why won't he talk to me?'" Her heart rate rises. Her breathing becomes shallow and short. "The more he withdraws, the more physiologically aroused she becomes."

e i?

stara moja, ti i ja smo se krivo skuzile, to je jedina istina :)

ma nismo se krivo skuzile :) ti samo uzmi od mojih rijeci sto ti pase i to je to :) ja ne trebam shvatiti sve ja samo nudim svoja razmisljanja pa kako kome pase :)

jedino kaj bi voljela je da to sto tu pises i savjetujes - da primjenjujes u svom pravom zivotu i da si sretna.. ostalo nije bitno ...

ti si krivo shvatila i samim time krivo dajes.. da si dobro shvatila, rijeci ne bi rekla... volim slusati druge i slusati tuđa razmisljanja..

If you're the demanding partner in this dynamic, your best response at this point is surprisingly simple: Listen to your heart, literally. Monitor your physiology. If your heart is racing, your breathing ragged, your eyes ablaze, step back and take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Calm down. This small action can be surprisingly consequential, even profound. "The body is so fundamentally involved in our relationships," Diamond says. "But few of us pay attention to it."

Your own body's cues aren't the only ones worth paying attention to, however. The most important small gesture you can make toward your partner is to empathize. Consider that the very behavior making you nuts—his mumbling and emotional retreat—is calming for him, Diamond says. "It's quite possible that he can't respond in any other way. Our conflict styles develop over a lifetime." So don't raise your voice and demand that he continue engaging in that persistent fight about money or housework or friendships or sex (topics that recur constantly in Diamond's work). Let him withdraw.

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