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Single Mid-Life Female Seeks Romantic Solution. What to do about love for these last 20-30 years? It feels personal but it isn’t. It’s a new epidemic, with clear origins in radical if un-noticed changes in the shape of society. Mid-life single women, does any of this feel familiar to you?

I used to have a lot more guys looking at me, flattering, flirting with me, and asking me out. Now sometimes I go months…
I’m still a babe. I have good genes and I look way younger than my age. Still, I get moments when I’m startled. Looking in the mirror I flash on this old lady. Yuck. I’m guessing others must see it too. Those flashes are only going to come more often until I’m just plain old. And plain.
I’m yearning for a mate more than I thought I would be by now. Alright, so I bet on a few wrong guys but still, it seemed there would be plenty of time. It’s like I’ve been playing musical chairs pretty calmly all along now, calm enough to get out of an uncomfortable lap knowing the music would still be playing a while. Now I feel like the music is about to end. I look around and I can’t find an empty lap. All the good guys are taken.
I’m startled by who’s available to me these days. Gray men, old farts, empty suits, guys in terrible shape, self-absorbed and boring.

Much fewer men are willing to cover a woman financially.
Much more un- and under-employed men aren’t ashamed to share (exploit) your resources.
Behind closed doors, men have discovered a milflode of unlimited ever-advancing state-of-the-art, accessible anywhere, too cheap to meter internet porn un-leashing galloping sexual extremism that substitutes for a lot of what drives a lot of men to pursue women.

• For you? Ever-advancing, state-of-the-art, accessible anywhere, too cheap to meter, romantic extremism, over-the-top chick-flicks, romance novels and love songs that doesn’t substitute for but drives women to pursue men.

• Technology, and commercial and public services now provide lots of what we could only get in partnership (e.g. TV keeps us company; prepared foods replace cooking, appliance replace housework).

• There’s been a steep decline in social consensus on moral absolutes. Women used to be able to counter male power by aligning with church and social standards about what it means to be an honorable gentleman. Those standards don’t have the credibility they used to. The moral high ground is eroding. It’s harder than ever for women to claim it.

• But morality hasn’t declined. Instead our moralizing has become more custom-tailored and self-serving, everyone liberated to demand their “rights” by whatever moral terms rationalize them.

• The boom in technology leaves everyone expecting more for less, and taking their preferences more seriously than they used to. Higher expectation drive couples to process-conversations and therapy, optimistic that processing will bring them profound intimacy. Processing opens a can of expectation-worms though, so resolutions don’t come as readily as we have expected they would.

• Gay liberation running off with some of the most eligible men: Sing You’re just too good to be straight. Can't take me out for a date…

• Women's liberation surrendered traditional sources of womanly power in exchange for unknowns or worse, direct competition with men where men still have advantages. For example, women finally feel freer to talk about their libidos and more base sexual inclinations, but in the process, they’ve unwittingly relinquishing moral high ground. A woman’s scorn is less credible after she’s admitted to appetites comparable to what she’s scorning in men.

• The yearning to nurture children is being upstaged by the yearning to nurture brainchildren. We’re workaholics in part because we’re in the rat race but in part because our vocations and avocations are rapidly evolving and exciting.

• Men often have more hobbies than women, hobbies they took up to impress women who were impressive without hobbies because they were gorgeous. Then with children, women had less time for hobbies. Hobbies have only gotten more exciting and distracting to guys as they age. Women as they age often wake up to an empty nest, and empty bed and no momentum or traction on any hobbies. A cold start in late mid-life is not very inviting.

• Many of us men and women--have been as casual about mating for retirement as we have been about saving for retirement. We had the luxury of faith borne of the abundance we experienced in our formative years, the boomer boom, when love and financial security seemed relatively secure and free. The boom is lowering and we’re not ready for it.
So what’s a single, mid-life woman to do?


Psychology Today: Post published by Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on May ,2012

P.S. Za Kreleca* ( Pitaj Vegu da Ti prevede ako ju oupće zanima još ROMANTIKA) i ostalu NEPISMENU & STUPID COMPANY, knjigu u ruke i naučite engleski! :))

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...dosadnooo!!!.... :)))

Pa jebi se ak ti je dosadno!

....hvala!...također!... :)

Uvijek na usluzi potrebitima.

...sam sebi najbolji prijatelj... :)))

Rexy, kao dečki više ne žele financirati MILFovice, pa one traže romantiku, ljubav i seyx u novo doba? :))

Nešto si razmišljam,da nema to neke veze s onim Chemtrailersima
ča ispuštaju iz aviona.Kažu da su to neke kemikalije ča onda kod
žena smanjuje želju za sexom a povećava potrebu za romantikom.
I sad vidi mene,bika sa prek 50 let kak ne ševim već romantizujem s
nekom babicom.Ma idi mi u romantiku!Umjesto da iskoristim ovo
malo života da ševim ko Hektor oni me tiraju da seruckam i prduckam
o romantici.

I onda nije ni čudo ča većina muških ne traže žene čkapi jer
su od tih kemikalija pofeminizirani.Čast otpornima jer ne diluje
na sve.

A pošto je tih feminiziranih postalo brojčano više,
takav stav postaje normalna pojava.
Morat ćemo mi otići negdje gdje još nije kontaminirano.

Vidiš ovu gore.Umisto da se s nekim ševi,njoj je dosadno.
Pored toliko kuraca u Hrvatskoj njoj se ne ševi.Radije joj
je dosadno i serucka o romantici.Tipična bolest asexualnosti.

A sad ću ja opet biti proglašen od takvih đubrem i govnom
ča sam ovdi javno izreka istinu.Oni su uvjereni da san ja
drkađija koji drka za kompjuterom a u stvari se samo odmaram
od prošlonoćne jebačine.

But morality hasn’t declined. Instead our moralizing has become more custom-tailored and self-serving, everyone liberated to demand their “rights” by whatever moral terms rationalize them.

:)

..upravo tako .
onak kak nam pase .

Single End life seeking nothing...

Na kraju života ti ništa nije potrebno.
Svakako,ništa ne možeš ponijeti u smrt.

Tko o čemu, KU.VA o poštenju, nešto me Krelec*, danas pokušao imitirati, ali to je nemoguće, jer pametan se može praviti glup, a glup se ne može praviti pametan...Jedini način da Krelec* dodje do mindje je da plati nekoj kamenjarki koja ima 1.000.000 km kurca iza sebe za sex, dok ja mogu bez plaćanja biti s ženskom od 24 godine, i u tome nije jedina razlika između nas...:))

Pa sad kolka mu je penzija,
more on to isfinancirati,jedino
nedostaje romantika.
Prostitutka je malo bolja masturbacija.

Alane, grdno se varaš...Krelec je jedan col, zgodan gospodin, da ne kažem frajer...ne znam postotak, ali dosta žena bi ga htjele (ja ne, naravno, jer nije moj tip)

*cool

LANENA: "iznova se jezim,a bogme i sramim umjesto ovih tipa ivana i allana koji stalno c/p".

Znači prema Lanenoj nije niti Andy Warholl umjetnik zato što nije sam photografirao svoje modele na svojim umjetničkim djelima, svi Blogeri su sami fotografirali svoje slike koje stavljaju u Blog, a najbitnije od svega u većini slučajeva se radi o bježanju od nečega, "ispušnom ventilu da ne popizde od života", skribomaniji, logoreji, nehebici, nedostatku petlje da se živi stvarni život, a ne virtualni...Uostalom, zašto da ja dajem svoje mišljenje o npr. Filmu 50 NIJANSI SIVE, kada je to planetarni hit sa 50 milijuna prodanih knjiga i HIT FILM, pa bolje da taj fenomen obradimo se više strana? :))

Ne znam ništa o Krelecu*, Juicy, ali postavlja se često kao sirovina i urbani primitivac, koji se pravi ili ne pravi glup na mojim Blogovima, ima nešto smisla za humor, ali neka to prodaje Vegi, Boži i Styx, ne mora meni...:))

I kao kruna svega, od Foruma na npr. Index.hr možeš imati neke koristi, a od komentara na Iskrica Weblog u 99% slučajeva ne možeš ništa pametno novo naučiti, zato ja dajem ove edukativne postove da neki ljudi ovdje iziđu i iz sigurnosti BLOGERSKE DEBILANE!!!

Najuspješniji blogovi su oni sa par uslkičnika,
upitnika,tri točkice ili smajlića.Onda se pojave debili
koji se u komentarima belje i krevelje.Sve intelektualac
do intelektualca te dama do dame.

Vrhunac intelektualnog razvoja im je pogađalica.

Šteta što se ne mogu igrati školice.

I kako onda pobenavljenoj gerijatriji koja se vrača u adolescenciju
objasniti da je za odrasle,normalne i zdrave ljude penis i vagina
normalna rijeć.Pa teta u vrtiću im je odavno objasnila da je to fuj i belj.

Teta,teta,Rexy mi je pokazal kitu!
Fuj ga i stid bilo!

Zloćesti rexy,curicama se ne pokazuje piša.
S njim se ide u zahod ak ti se piški.

Tak je piš,piš,piš,
nebum više rekel niš.

Rexy, povremeno bježim na Index.hr i Forum.hr da sačuvam kondiciju i mentalno zdravlje od ove DEBILANE! :))
Znaš Ti koliko košta sat psihijatra u SAD? Pa gdje bi se ti svi ljudi mogli međusobno družiti?

Vrapće je pretrpano,
zato su mnogi ovdje.