Svaštara by The Kid

I think the Internet is wonderful, although the glut of porno sites is a little sickening. I recently did a study on these porno sites by visiting as many as possible for the past year and a half. It really got me quite mad viewing all of the filth and I am so glad my research has ended. Like they say, "Once you have seen a breast, you want to see more and more"...
I have come to the conclusion from this study that there are far too many pornographic sites. What really ticked me off the most was hardly any of the sites were free, so my Visa bill is sky high at the moment.
I have been spending way too much time online. I do not think it's healthy for anyone to be online (or playing computer games) for more than two or three hours a day. In fact, I think one hour a day is enough for everyone, unless they have found an excellent porn site, of course. Still, it is hard to quit a bad habit but I am slowly changing my ways.
I realized I was online too much on the first day of January, when I  looked over at my dog and realized he was severely dehydrated.  The poor dog had not been fed or given water for God knows how long. The dogs painful glare slapped me back into reality. At about the same time that I noticed my dog moaning and groaning I smelled something sickening  in the air. Shockingly, I quickly discovered the smell was emitting from my entire body. I never knew I could stink so good. This usually happens when you have not showered for the past week or so. I decided on that fateful day (January 3rd) to get away from the Internet for a few moments and clean myself up a little. On the way to the washroom I threw some "Kibbles and Bits" into the my dogs bowl. I have never seen a dog chow down food so fast in my life!
On the way back downstairs to the computer room after my quick shower, I glanced over and noticed something on the kitchen counter. It was  a note. The note was from my wife and as I read the letter, I burst out into tears of shame. (The last time I cried that much was when I received my last Visa statement in the mail.)    
THE NOTE SHE WROTE:
Dear The Kid,
I am leaving you and I am taking the children (their names are Ryan and Michael for future reference). I'm not sure which day you will finally find this note as you only come upstairs a few times a year but this was written on January 22nd, 2001. 
Please find time in your BUSY SCHEDULE to feed the dog and cats (the dogs name is Elmo, the cats names are Daisy and Misty) I will be in contact with you through my lawyer because our marriage is over. I will leave you with your new lover. I think she goes by the nickname "Internet".
Your former wife,  "Whats-her-name"
 
Boy, did I ever have egg on my face! Since that depressing day I have tried to get my life back in order.  The family is back home and my wife has almost forgiven me, although the dog and cats constantly give me dirty looks. Most importantly of all, I have stopped being so selfish and I have cut back my time on the Internet by almost half. This gives me roughly twenty five minutes of quality time with my loved ones, surfing the Net together as one big happy family!

So, why is the name of this this weblog: "I love the Net!" You should call it " I am sick-help me"

You've got to be kidding!?

yess..i need that..:-)