krvavi romeijulije (2)
Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
--Ambrose Bierce
(ovaj disklejmer sam zadnji put zaboravio:)
This series is written for people--not professionals. For our purposes here, a realistic, everyday explanation of Controller characteristics can be of greater direct benefit, since the aim of this series is to provide a practically useable guide for self-preservation-not a clinical analysis. Therefore, please do not use this material to pigeonhole everyone you meet with a "diagnosis." Leave treating people like pigeons to the professionals. As we move along through this series of articles, try not be intimidated by "clinical" terms, such as 'personality disorder,' 'borderline,' 'sociopath,' etc. They are just words professionals have come to use in describing different technical aspects of mind and personality. The issue here is learning about control and Controllers. In particular, this series is about learning clear-cut, practical ways of spotting them and dealing with them. Think of Romeo's Bleeding as both map and compass. It is designed to help you safely navigate the often-treacherous waters of romance, love and finding the Right guy to have as a boy-friend or even as just a good friend.
(_)
At his core, every Controller is monumentally self-centered. He is not just on an ego trip. He is on an expedition.In his mind, everyone orbits around him, as if people are his planets and he is their shining sun. What he wants he should have, simply because he wants it. He needs no other justification. Seeing himself as the center of everyone else's universe, he is blind to the fact that anyone else's wants or needs are more important than his own. Doggedly locked into this self-image of grand, "godlike" proportions, he may literally feel entitled to other's worship.It is as if these kind of men view reality from inside a strange, transparent fortress, whose walls are both shield and golden mirror. Hardened against the truth of the world outside himself, this psychological citadel resists seeing things as they really are. Like mental bulletproof-glass, these opaque fortress walls deflect any words or actions from others that might threaten his perfect "godlike" image of himself. Everything is perceived through this armored, shining shell, and the world must always treat him as if he were golden. And failure to worship at his shrine can be devastating.
(evo nesto o narcisoidnosti, kako rekoh, nije ona nekako osnovni problem tu, cini mi se... uostalom, ovdje smo podlozni kritici pa se nekako valjda taj dio malo uravnotezi...?)
Most people strive to be socially charming, but this is not the kind of charm displayed by a Narcissistic Controller. The manipulative impact of narcissistic charm is not intended to ease social connectedness. It is designed to establish social dominance. It feels intensely charming. You feel gripped by it, instead of eased by it. Other signs can indicate the presence of narcissistic control, as well.
(eto jos malo o tome kako se zavodi, kako smo zavedeni, kako zavodimo, katkad...)
(diskusija s ROMEO'S BLEEDING When Mr. Right Turns Out To Be Mr. Wrong Part 3 - The Mirror Men By Roger Melton, M.A., L.M.F.T., CEAP)
uhh, puno posla sve se svud skupilo, na poslu i u glavurdi, i medju elektronima i svud... i nista ne moze cekati... kooooma! koma. brzina je prevelika a informacije zuje i struje u gomilama. ali evo samo kao intro u pravi sadrzaj:
2. Dramatic, emotional, or erratic (cluster B)
a. Histrionic (self-dramatization, exag. display of
emotion, manipulative, seek approval and praise
from others, self-centered, unable to delay
gratification; overconcern with attractiveness)
-center of attention; appears shallow
b. Narcissistic (from Greek for self love; exag. sense of accomplishments and talents, feeling of entitlement, feelings of insecurity, need approval, reacts poorly to criticism, fantasies of power, brilliance, beauty, feelings of envy)
-more inflated view of self than histrionic, but less melodramatic.
c. Borderline (instability of self-image, interpersonal relationships, and mood; lots of ups and downs; poor boundaries;
therapist's "nightmare"; self destructive, self-mutilation, manipulative)
-instability of moods
-staff splitting
-all or nothing thinking (idealization vs. outrage)
d. Anti-social-used to be called sociopath or psychopath. Pattern of irresponsible and anti social behavior (will go into greater detail)
-sometimes confused for schizophrenia
3. Anxious or fearful (cluster C)
a. Avoidant (social withdrawal due to social discomfort, fear of negative eval, and timidity; contrast with schizoid)
-compared to social phobia, more impaired, poorer social skills.
b. Dependent (low self-esttem and dependence on others; unable to make decisions alone; probs with being alone, indecisiveness).
c. Obsessive-compulsive (excessive preoccupation with trivial details at cost of spontaneity and effectiveness; perfectionistic and inflexible; moralistic; judgemental of self and others)
4. Proposed personality disorders
a. Sadistic
-Intimidation of others through infliction of pain, humiliation, embarrassment, or cruelty.
b. Self-defeating
-Avoidance of pleasurable experiences; persistent involvement in disappointing or punishing relationships.
c. Depressive
d. Passive-aggressive (indirectly expressed resistance to demands of others; procrastination, dawdling, forgetfulness, intentional inefficiency)
- tend to communicate hostile feelings through passive means rather than directly or openly.
Tako, zeli li tko pratiti ili sam proucavati, neka upishe 'histrionic', 'dependent' ili 'borderline personality disorder' u google, a moze se jos dodati i 'treatment' ili 'therapy', pa nek cita... (borderline je najjaci, i cini se najvazniji meni, i njoj, ali do njega tko zna kad cu stici doci i nesto promisliti) ... polako redom treba ici, histrionski i nije najvazniji, ovi drugi plavi postoje ali isto nisu temelj nasih zivotnih tegoba, dependent je prilicno povezan s borderline poremecajem, kao sto ce se vidjeti u sljedecem nastavku karikirano-kontrolirane price o krvavim ljubavnicima...
evo neke bolje ideje koje sad skupljam u jedan file za proucavati... uh uh posla pregolemog, al filing je dobar jer se nadas da ce te nekud .... dovest. bas dobar filing, dooooobaaar :))))
evo kaj veli borderline,
Borderline Personality Disorder results from desiring, needing, and delighting in relationships; and from fearing, and being distressed by, not getting or losing relationships.
motivation: Want to be free to pursue their desires while still getting dependency needs satisfied.
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.borderline.html
http://www.toddlertime.com/borderline/dbt/
http://www.geocities.com/ptypes/borderlinepd.html
http://www.psych.org/psych_pract/treatg/pg/borderline_revisebook_index.cfm
hm, ovo sam htio cuvati za poslije, ali jednostavno sve prebrzo ide... evo reklame za Dialectical Behavioural treatment for Borderline personality disorders...
DBT combines Zen philosophy and practice with behavioral analysis and change procedures in the context of Rogerian unconditional regard, empathy, and genuineness. To apply DBT effectively, a therapist has to live DBT (at least from our perspective it works better that way). What this means is that, at its best, DBT is not just a treatment but a way of living. To truly find a way out of the hell associated with BPD, a patient must begin to make a commitment to lifestyle changes, in the face of what at times feels like impossible odds. Our consistent experience has been that DBT provides a map, a compass, and the road.
Uoci! I 'terapist' i 'pacijent' trebaju zivjeti DBT... Hm ,hm oh Holy grail !!! ;-P
i nakraju, evo jos malo o ovisnosti...
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx13t.htm
http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/depend.htm
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-pe09.html
http://www.unc.edu/~mraney/webdependent.html
http://ivy_league0.tripod.com/rhyme_of_the_ancient_wanderer/id61.html
(ukratko, fora u terapijama tog 'dependent PD' je nekako u tome da vele da se terapija treba koncentrirat na rjesavanje specificnih problema, inace se stvara ovisnost 'pacijenta' o 'terapeutu', sto je dakako kontraindicirano...)
uhhh jos malo uhhh malo pauze zelimmmm!!!! uhhh nemrem ovak brzoooo.
uglavnom, sutra citajte o tome kako se 'dependent' i 'borderline' urote i stvaraju ... pa kao pakao. malo karikirano, ali i skidajuce...
24.01.2005. u 11:59 | Prijavi nepoćudni blog | Dodaj komentar